Warning - Soap Box Tirade Ahead

Did you know that gay men cannot donate blood? I wasn't aware of this until the other day when a friend pointed it out to me. And I was furious. 

So I did some research and apparently in the 80's, the FDA put a lifetime ban on gay men donating blood. This came about after something like 10,000 hemophiliacs contracted HIV from blood transfusions. While that is unbelievably tragic, I think it is equally as tragic to consider the number of people who have died because there wasn't a blood type match found quickly enough. The World Health Organization (WHO) says directly on their website:

"Blood transfusion saves lives and improves health, but many patients requiring transfusion do not have timely access to safe blood. The need for blood transfusion may arise at any time in both urban and rural areas. The unavailability of blood has led to deaths and many patients suffering from ill-health."

To add insult to injury, sluts, whores, slutty whores, and generally promiscuous women can donate with minimal restrictions. Because the blood is tested for a plethora of diseases - including HIV. Let me repeat that - the blood is tested for HIV. So why in the hell can't gay men donate? Even if they are considered (by some) to be at a higher risk, their blood would still be tested. 

In 2013, we have technologies that allow cars to park themselves, vacuums to run on their own, lasers to correct our vision, and an International Space Station orbiting the earth for Christ's sake. Can it really be that difficult to design a comprehensive blood test which would allow any willing person to donate? 

We live in a scary world where bad things happen every day. I just wish we also lived in a world where any human being who wanted to make a difference would be given that opportunity. 

Laugh it Out

Sometimes I'm just crabby. And when I feel like my day is spiraling into permanent Negative Nancy territory, sometimes it's hard to cheer me up. 

Until now. 

Damn You Auto Correct (damnyouautocorrect.com) makes me laugh so hard I come dangerously close to falling out of my chair. This morning, I was laughing so hard I went into the 'ugly cry'. If you need some serious laugh therapy, go to the website and just read through it for 5 minutes. I guarantee it will cure you. 

My other go-to is Someecards.com.  Some are genuinely raunchy and disturbing, but most of them are so brutally honest I can't help but laugh. Like this one my friend sent to me yesterday:

(you're laughing because this is exactly how you feel when you stop for someone to cross the street!)

Fred Rogers - A National Treasure

The older I get, the more I appreciate how awesome Mister Rogers was. Here's a little reminder in case you forgot. 

Well That's a New One

Adding to the list of things I never thought I'd have to say: 

Don't wash your dishes in the bathroom sink.*

I'm still trying to figure out why, in an office building, you would EVER need to take your dirty dishes into the public bathroom. I'm 1,000,000% sure your office has, at the very least, a kitchenette with running water. 



*there is only one situation I can think of where it would be acceptable to wash your dishes in the bathroom - after a natural disaster, when most of your kitchen has been destroyed and you're basically living amidst the rubble of what was your house. 

Or maybe after a zombie apocalypse. 

Marketing 101 (aka Cartoon Bears and Cannibalism)

As disturbing as it might be, I don't have a DVR (yes, I'm a dinosaur). So I actually watch a decent amount of commercials. There are two right now that I find exceptionally disturbing: Charmin and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. 


The Charmin commercials have bothered me for years. Who wants to see cartoon bears talk about the finer details of wiping your ass so as not to leave anything behind? And to illustrate the point, they show the little kid bear with pieces of toilet paper stuck to his ass. Um...not ok. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, they make the tag line "We all go. Why not enjoy the go?" Seriously, I just urfed. Charmin people - I implore you to hire a new marketing firm. 

The other, more recent commercial is for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I couldn't even tell you what the general message is because I'm so disturbed by the animated cereal square that eats the other piece of cereal. Since when did showcasing cannibalism become effective at selling cereal?! 

The "M" Word

A lot of people don't like the "C" word. Me? I don't like the "M" word. Moist. (Urf. I don't even like typing it.)

It seems, though, I'm not alone in my hatred. Solidarity, baby.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/why-moist-is-the-worst-word-ever-6zgv

Bitchy Resting Face

For years I've been trying to explain to (usually) complete strangers that I'm not angry, upset, sad, or in a bad mood - that's just my normal resting face. 

If I had a nickel for every time someone said "Smile!", "What's wrong?", "Why aren't you having a good time?", "C'mon, life can't be that bad!", I'd be a freaking billionaire. 

And then I heard about this video that explains "Bitchy Resting Face". And it's the most brilliant thing I've ever seen. 

If you are, or know, someone who is constantly asking other people what's wrong - please watch this video. I assure you, those of us with BRF are completely fine and don't need some weirdo trying to cheer us up. If you have some compelling need to make sure others are always happy, go be a clown. 

I Plumb

Over the weekend, I installed a new toilet. In my bathroom. All by myself. And I didn't cry once.

I'm Expecting a Flood of Wedding Invitations!

I was raised to believe that everyone is equal - regardless of race, sex, religion, ability, hair color, grammar usage, or sexual preference.

I was so convinced of these basic human rights that in 7th grade I challenged Mike Sturgeon to a Battle of the Sexes, to prove that women are just as capable as men. I don't remember who was declared the overall winner, but I do recall that I fractured his wrist when we were arm wrestling (I pulled an "Over the Top" move. Thank you Sylvester Stallone). My convictions only grew from there.

Over the past couple of years, I've heard stories of same sex couples who weren't allowed into hospital rooms to see their partners because they weren't 'family'; or of surviving partners being charged insanely high inheritance taxes because they weren't legally considered a 'surviving spouse'. Can you even imagine the emotional damage that would cause? When I hear such horrific things, I always imagine myself in their shoes and it just breaks my heart.

I can't understand why the government has ANY say when it comes to love. Love is just love.

Arrogant politicians playing "God" disgust me. (I'm still looking for an island I can move to where I can be my own government - recommendations are welcome!)

So yesterday, when the Supreme Court ruled that the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional, and then also dismissed the appeal for Prop 8 making it legal for same sex marriages in California, I was almost speechless. Elation, awe, pure joy - pick a synonym for 'happy' and I felt it. Not just because it was the right thing to do, because now ALL of my friends can experience the joy of marriage and all that comes with it.

It seems like the fight to legalize same sex marriage nationwide is picking up momentum. I hope that momentum continues and ultimately results in marriage being considered just that - marriage. Not gay marriage, not straight marriage - just marriage.

I thank the Supreme Court for doing the right thing. And I urge everyone to get involved in the fight, so that one day this will be a thing of the past, and everyone can feel safe in their love.

'What's That Bewitching Scent You're Wearing?'

It's public bathroom air freshener.

Am I the only one who sees a serious flaw in the decision to put the auto spray air freshener just above the towel dispenser? I've been sprayed twice now and I don't think the eau de parfum of the 3rd floor ladies' bathroom quite goes with the scent I usually wear.

I feel like I need to put a disclaimer on my office door so people don't think I voluntarily smell like this.

Urf.