About a year ago, a friend introduced me to a free dating app called "Tinder". In my quest to find the perfect cabana boy, I figured it couldn't hurt to give it a try so I set up a very basic profile. There was only one problem: it said that I was 12 years old. After several attempts to fix it, I had to give up and delete the app because, well, that's just creepy.
Fast forward about 4 months. Another friend was obsessed with Tinder and mandated that I try it again. Begrudgingly, I agreed. Turns out it might have been one of the best decisions I ever made - if only for the entertainment it has provided.
For those who aren't familiar with the app, it's very simple. You choose your parameters (gender, age, distance) and it brings up everyone that matches the criteria. If you like them, you click the green heart button. If you don't like them, you click the red X button. If you like them and they like you, you are matched and can begin chatting if desired.
(One quick side note - almost all of the pictures that I'm posting on here got the red X from me. Some I couldn't get away from fast enough!)
So as I'm getting further into the Tinder-verse, I come to find out it's known as the 'hook up' app. Fabulous. Just what I need. And then I came across this guy. And I was so confused!
I'm not sure which is more horrifying - the picture, the fact that he's very married and on a dating site, or that he felt the world needed to know his wife has one functioning tube and an IUD. Seriously, what is wrong with people?!
On your Tinder profile, you're allowed one main picture and 5 additional pictures. This guy put on a fashion show in his pics. (And I'm only showing 3 here because the rest will scar you for life)
But wait!!!! There's more!!! I got this message from someone I matched with. I was speechless. Literally.
As I mentioned earlier, you select the gender with which you want to potentially match. Unfortunately, there's not a way to let the app know you're not a gay man looking for other gay men. So then this happens...
I felt guilty keeping this much fun all to myself, so I convinced a few friends to join as well. I'd like to think they're thanking me for it. Otherwise, they'd be missing out on this:
And this...
Urf.
At the end of the day, it's been a priceless education (in what, I'm not sure yet). I haven't found the perfect cabana boy, but that hasn't deterred me. Maybe it's this guy?
