Things I Don't Want to See on Facebook (or Ever)

I recently read an article where the author was suggesting that mothers are the worst offenders of TMI on social media. I laughed because it was kind of true, though I wasn't 100% in agreement. 

Until now. 

Earlier this week a friend posted a picture of her son on his little person toilet, trying to poop. To add insult to injury, she posted a caption, trying to make it seem cute.  NEWS FLASH - it's not cute!!! It's never going to be cute because it's horrifying! It's your little kid taking a dump. Why would anyone (but you) want to see that? 

Moms, let me save YOU some time and YOUR CHILD some dignity - DO NOT post pictures of them expelling anything from their bodies. 

Trust me - NOBODY wants to see that. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER. 

Ever. 

I'm Weird but I'm Ok With It

I recently realized two things:

1. When I wave at someone who lets me merge in traffic, I say "Thank You" out loud as I'm waving. I think it's karmic insurance - if they somehow don't see me wave, the universe will hear me say "Thank You" and therefore, I'm covered. 

2. When I see a squirrel in the street and he safely makes it to where he's going, I say out loud "Good job buddy!" Everyone needs a little encouragement, right? 

Issue #2: Leaving the Cabinets Open? Wrong!!!

At work today, I walked into the kitchen to rinse out my coffee cup and I almost skewered my right eyeball on the open cabinet directly over the sink. Can someone please explain to me why people (men) leave cabinets and drawers open in the kitchen? I've encountered this time and time again and I can't figure it out. 

Admittedly, I'm a little OCD so I get why this bothers me. What I can't figure out is why people (men) do it. Are they just that lazy? Do they genuinely not care? Do they even know they're doing it? Or maybe it's a weird kind of role reversal - like women who leave the toilet seat up when they leave the bathroom, maybe people (men) are doing it to make accessing the dishes and silverware that much easier for us. 

Regardless of the reason, I would like to formally request that people (men) take the extra nanosecond to close the cabinet or drawer they've just used. I promise, it won't kill you. 

(While we're on the subject of formal requests, I'd also like to ask people (men) to hit the "Clear/Cancel" button on the microwave when you've stopped it short of the full time. It absolutely drives me to drink when I see ":03" flashing next time I go to use the microwave.)