Marketing 101 (aka Cartoon Bears and Cannibalism)

As disturbing as it might be, I don't have a DVR (yes, I'm a dinosaur). So I actually watch a decent amount of commercials. There are two right now that I find exceptionally disturbing: Charmin and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. 


The Charmin commercials have bothered me for years. Who wants to see cartoon bears talk about the finer details of wiping your ass so as not to leave anything behind? And to illustrate the point, they show the little kid bear with pieces of toilet paper stuck to his ass. Um...not ok. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, they make the tag line "We all go. Why not enjoy the go?" Seriously, I just urfed. Charmin people - I implore you to hire a new marketing firm. 

The other, more recent commercial is for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I couldn't even tell you what the general message is because I'm so disturbed by the animated cereal square that eats the other piece of cereal. Since when did showcasing cannibalism become effective at selling cereal?! 

The "M" Word

A lot of people don't like the "C" word. Me? I don't like the "M" word. Moist. (Urf. I don't even like typing it.)

It seems, though, I'm not alone in my hatred. Solidarity, baby.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/why-moist-is-the-worst-word-ever-6zgv

Bitchy Resting Face

For years I've been trying to explain to (usually) complete strangers that I'm not angry, upset, sad, or in a bad mood - that's just my normal resting face. 

If I had a nickel for every time someone said "Smile!", "What's wrong?", "Why aren't you having a good time?", "C'mon, life can't be that bad!", I'd be a freaking billionaire. 

And then I heard about this video that explains "Bitchy Resting Face". And it's the most brilliant thing I've ever seen. 

If you are, or know, someone who is constantly asking other people what's wrong - please watch this video. I assure you, those of us with BRF are completely fine and don't need some weirdo trying to cheer us up. If you have some compelling need to make sure others are always happy, go be a clown. 

I Plumb

Over the weekend, I installed a new toilet. In my bathroom. All by myself. And I didn't cry once.